Things I enjoyed

• Jacob Elordi is unreasonably hot as the sweaty gigahunk.
• An unashamed fanfic quality which I found amusing. It honestly felt as if it had been dreamt up by a horny teenager on tumblr at points.

bread kneading heaving bosoms

Things I didn’t enjoy

• The whole thing had a music video gloss which made the landscape feel incidental. It felt like a set not something the characters actually inahbited. Even when they were banging on the moors they didn’t seem to get muddy. This was a problem for me.

Things that intrigued me

• Jacob Elordi doing the same accent as Christian Bale in The Prestige.

Verdict

49 heaving bosoms out of 100